Friday, April 13, 2007

To Comment or Not to Comment

The Websters New World Dictionary defines the word:

comment- 3. to consider thoroughly] to make a comment or comments (on or upon); make remarks

connection- 3. a relation; association; specif., a) the relation between things that depend on, involve, or follow each other; causal relationship

There are blogs that I will go to and read. I look forward to see what they have posted, but.... I will not comment. Why? I really did not know why. Until something that happened in the "Blog Realm," that made me seriously ponder as to why!

There is a circle of blogger's that will comment back and forth to each other; it feels as if we are all in the same room having a conversation. I loved it! I would look forward to a fellow blogger's opinion on different subjects.... Now, he is gone. I miss seeing his face and his comments. I would read his blog and had never gained enough courage to comment on any of his posts. Recently he passed away unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm in his sleep. He was 44 years old, newly divorced, and had two kids, a daughter and son. He loved these two with all of his heart. He was a brother who loved his siblings dearly. He was a preacher's son and very close to his parents. He was finding his way. He was caring, loving, and funny. He always wanted to do right by people..... He is now missed. Our hearts were touched by His greatness!

I never had the privilege to meet him. I only knew of him. I feel that if we ever did meet, we would have been friends. He seemed like the type of person that had friends anywhere he went.

There was not a funeral or memorial that I could go to. I will always remember him though. You see he has taught me many lessons, one of them being: To seize the moment. I will not go to a blog and not comment if I have one.

I have thought about why I do not leave comments and the reason why I don't. I have gone through life not feeling valued, wanted or even that I mattered. I do not want to get into the specifics, I will just leave it at that. Unfortunately, that has poured over to so many areas in my life, tucked away in a suitcase I carry with me everywhere. Through this journey of mine, I am beginning to believe that I am Valuable, I am wanted, and I do matter!

Leaving a comment... the way I see it, I have nothing to lose and only to gain if anything. I admire how some people dive right in and have no problem with this. sigh~

It is also making connections. Beautiful connections. For me, I am giving myself the gift of commenting.

I am opening the gate.....

and I am going to see what will bloom.

For what it is worth... I do value you and your opinion, your comments do matter to me. You are wanted by me. :)


  1. Angela Marie!!! YOU matter to me and this is one of the MOST Beautifulest Posts in all the land, the Land of Bloggers!!! I mean it, this post is very touching and inspiring! I LOVE that gate too and that rose!!!! AhhHHHHH! Have you considered being a writer, well YOU are!!! HAPPY week-end my sweet friend! xoCinda

  2. I feel like you do Angela...I was so confused (as you were) about his passing..I didn't know what still bothers me....I understand your post.

  3. Dearest Angela,

    You and your comments matter to me. They always warm my heart and your words make me feel loved.

    We have made a connection by commenting on each others blogs and I am grateful that we did.

    Thanks for sharing this, it has helped me :)

    XOXO Sophie

  4. i was and still am sometimes the same way ... about commenting that is, sometimes i don't comment on blogs that i read because i feel insecure about it but sometimes, ears red, i do it anyway ...

    this post is so beautiful as are you and i know that when i see you in my comments, it always makes me smile ...

    am so sorry about the loss of your blog friend, i didn't know him, but he sounds wonderful. sending you warm hugs and i hope you have a lovely weekend.

  5. Angela,

    you have said it so well for all of us! Your friendship, your love and your comments makes me know I'm valued.

    You've opened a beautiful gate...Hopefully a lot of us feeling like you, will go through!

    I agree with turquoise cro....Your's in one of the most beautiful posts in Blogland.
    Love and Hugs
    XOXO Wanda Mom

  6. Wow! i have seen your comments on a couple of other blogs and I thought Gee. she seems cool..let me come over and see who she is! Then ...your post today! About Commenting... isn't that synchronistic! Keep those comments coimng!...I am so sorry to hear about the death of the other blogger. That is so sad. I have made a wonderful, sincere circle of cyber friends! We are all supportive ..some of us have even talked on the phone! Yes! Nice to meet you!

  7. I didn't know the man you mention, but I'm saddend all the same about his passing. We don't know what tomorrow might bring.
    Today is all we have.
    Remember WE are not strangers anymore...xx


  8. I admit to carrying the same type of suitcase. Part of my reluctance comes from not knowing the words to say (directly related to my shyness in my daily life I'm sure). I read the comments others leave and feel that I don't really have more to add than what they have already said, so leave without commenting.

    Thanks for sharing this with us.

  9. Woah. That was incredible to read. And I have to tell you, for a LONG time, I visited so many blogs and never commented. My main reason was, I was visiting blogs that I linked to through a friend who is a writer (Trish's Dishes). Most of her links are other writers or creative types who sound extremely exciting and intelligent and they like to use things I've labeled as $7 words. I see myself as a dorky suburban mom. I'm a programmer only because it pays better than my true calling of singing. So these women intimidated me. And then Trish sent us over to Darlene's site when Mark was in the accident. I couldn't NOT comment! I had to support her. And her replies to my site were SO beautiful and giving. Then you and Wanda found me through Darlene. And somehow that broke through my silly thoughts. I totally love the comments relationship I have with all of these really awesome women that I've connected with through Trish, Darlene or others. So I love this post. And I give you a hearty AMEN SISTER!

  10. i knew of him only ny his death.but it came a s a shock for reasons i still can't comprehend.the sudden disappearance of life is certainly scary.
    i used to not comment too,nor was i looking fwd to anyone's opinion. and then one day one particular post made me want to comment and i learnt that i liked what followed,more like a conversation,as you said.i agree with you girl.

  11. Beautifully expressed Angela Marie...we all have suitcases, and spooky little pasts, stuff we lug around with us....
    Sweet Soulful Baron opened his gate, and for all us blessed enough to have passed through it, we made a friend, and every word he shared, is a gift we will have forever....
    Your words and thoughts are priceless, too,
    keep sharing little mermaid....
    the tides are now....

  12. Hello, Angela Marie!
    Thanks for you work, is very nice, have a good qeekend.

  13. I wanted to Thank each and everyone of you for your lovely comments you left me. They touched and warmed my heart!


  14. Yes... I agree it can be confusing... and at times difficult.

    I find it difficult to put into words sometimes how I feel... so is it best to say nothing... probably not.

    Thanks for a great post.

  15. I came here via Dasies blog and spotted this post. I have always been facsinated by comments. If I'm in a club and I get no comment I wonder. Was it bad? Would I blog if I got no comments? Validation? You bring up a view I never thought of. Good post!

    I'm sorry about your friend. Hugs

  16. (((tap,'s me...i'm late but i saw your gate was open...)))
    Beautiful post. Your are so valued in so many ways and on so many levels by so many different people...some that you may never know... Comment away girl! Make your's always so beautiful!

  17. I know that loss first hand. I wrote about it here--

    It says what I think you too are saying, only in my own way.

    Hey, I'm a Northern California boy myself. Your Mom's garden made me homesick for the gardens I used to grow...