Sunday, August 19, 2007

My Mother's Advice

My mom is full of good advice, but there was one bit of advice she gave me that really made an impact. It was early in my marriage and Charlie and I were going through a rough patch. She knew I was at the end of my rope with him. She told me that marriage was not easy. It, in fact, would be one of the hardest things that I'd work on over a long period of my life, because it is ever-changing.

My mom told me to look at my marriage, if you will, like a garden. When it first starts, it is beautiful. You want to smell and admire every nook and corner.

Although, if you do not take care of your garden, it gets over grown with weeds and chokes out what you have planted. Weeds grow thickly where they are unwanted and choke out more desirable plants. You need to clear or remove weeds that become harmful to your garden. You need to get rid of these troublemakers. If you do not tend to it ...

You won't be able to admire the blooms...

You have to pull the dead blooms so that there will be new ones.

You may have to train vines to grow a certain way.

You would need to make sure that you fertilize to enrich your land.

Make sure there is adequate light for certain plants to grow or not to get burnt.

You would need to cultivate to encourage new growth or to improve and refine areas of your garden. And water just enough for proper growth. You water too much, it becomes waterlogged. Plants will become unmanageable or the roots will get rotten and you will lose what you have planted.

You would need to sow seed for new growth.

You would need to prune the unwanted parts so that areas would grow stronger.

You would have to use certain pesticide to get rid of unwanted pests safely.

I listen to my mom talk about this garden of marriage. We talked about how you can apply this to any relationship that you have. I have seen my mom work in her garden. She has come in with scrapes on her arms, dirt under her nails, sweat on her brow and sometimes out of breath. She has gotten up very early in the morning to tend to her garden by meeting the snails that would munch for breakfast. It is hard work. But when you've finished working, for the day, you can always sit in your garden and you appreciate the beauty in it so much more. Relationships of any kind do not come easy. You get out what you put into them.

I have told my children the advice my mom had given me.
Thank You Mom!


  1. You're mom was right! These photos are beautiful, too. :)

  2. Your mom was right and the photos are lovely. If only more couples would apply this to their life in todays world.

  3. Great advice from mom! Approaching housework with the same attitude works well too!

  4. You mother is a wise woman.
    Mine told me never go to bed on an argument, and we never have, even if we stayed up half the night resolving it.
    The garden photos are lovely..!
    PS. Mailed your journal off this morning..xx

  5. Soooooo very true Angela! What a lovely post! :-) XXOOOO

  6. angela will you email me your email so I can send you my address. I couldn't get it to go thru from blogger. It is
    thanks again.

  7. what absolutely wonderful advice and i love the photos :) hugs!

  8. Oh man, that's amazing advice. I may have to email a link to a certain future ex of mine. All he sees is that we "grew apart". All I see is that we grew and needed to find pathways to link our two paths. This garden analogy is perfect.

    Very good advice to give to anyone!!! Good going, mom!

  9. your mom gave you good advice
    love the photos as usual

    love you always

  10. Sweet advice!!! LOVE your pics sweetie!!! YOU have been in my thoughts lately, I'm still praying!!! and I am PROUD to be YOUR friend too dear girly!!! (((((Angela Marie))))))very tightly!!! lol

  11. love grows. And your Mom is right, and wise, and her green thumb shows....
    in you and your children...
    and the way you
    color the world!

  12. That is great advise!
    Great photos! Are they from your garden?

  13. So often I have read your blog but for some unknown reason didn't leave a comment. I see you on blogs we mutually visit and finally decided to stop in and formally say hello.
    This was a beautiful post and what lovely advice from your Mother.
    So nice to finally "meet" you.

  14. Lovely post, especially love the photo of the plant covered table and chairs...beautiful! Mom's advice is always best, and your mom gave you some sound advice.

  15. Fantastic post, full of wisdom. Beautiful photos too!