Tuesday, June 19, 2007

We must Believe...

When we walk to the edge of all the light
we have and take that step into the darkness of the
unknown, we must believe that one of two things
will happen ~ there will be something solid for us to
stand on, or we will be taught how to fly.

~ Patrick Overton

Most of the grief literature says that the final stage of grief is acceptance. I believe a better word is adjustment. Most surprising has been how much changes after the death of a spouse or loved one~ nothing is the same. It has been life-changing to feel how deeply sorrow can move into one's being. Grief does not only invite change; it demands it. Losing someone is not an experience I would have chosen, but with careful grief work, their loss has deepened my life. God knows grief intimately and offers what we need to recover our equilibrium in ways that we can understand. Gradually uncertainty and doubt gave way to a deep sense of God's presence, and I feel gratitude for the generosity of God's love in the midst of my anger and alienation.

*taken from the book A Healing Grief by Sara Wengerd
NOTE** Lynette ~ there was more to this ... your comment has had me add to this. Love you sweetie...
I believe we need to bear in mind that death is only one source of grief. It is my observation that divorce, chronic pain, job losses, the birth of an unhealthy child, or debilitating illness or accidents can cause distress, far greater than the death of a loved one. A friend who lost his first wife to death and his second to separation found separation to be the most painful: "Death is an amputation; separation is like having gangrene."


  1. "grief does not only invite change; it demands it" ~ yes!!! that has been my experience completely with each loss that i have experienced. sigh. i might have to check out that book ~ thank you my dear .. xox

  2. I hear this loud and clear. I have been so surprised at how divorce mirrors a death. Thanks for this.

  3. Wow. How true. My mom lost her first hubby to death. Her sister lost her first husband to an ugly divorce like mine. I remember my grandmother telling me (as a teen) that the divorce was more painful. I remember indignantly thinking she was off her rocker. Now I unfortunately know she was right.

  4. Wow, there is some wisdom in those words. Grief does demand change and more of lives'events than death are followed by grief. I know what your mean. Be it a ending of a relationship, a dream, an expectation. thanks for sharing this angela :)

    xoxo silvia

  5. I love your blog today it is so poetic and true to heart grief throws a curve ball at us in so many ways unexpectedly that it is sometimes hard to make the demands I will use your word Adjustment I really like that!

    thanks for sharing

  6. I agree. I have never been divorced, but I know from the experience of others, that what you say is true.

  7. very deep and meaningful -- thank you for sharing it with us.

  8. Loss through divorce or death is quite comparable I believe. Both require a lot of work to get over, and both are quite tragic events in one's life.
    They say not dealing with a tradegy can cause physical illness, like cancer. It is sad, and we need to find healthy ways to deal with it.
    Beautiful photo too, Angela Marie!~

  9. Oh honey....I am wrapping my arms around you I LOVE YOU.....mom

  10. Take gentle care sweet Angela! I'm thinking of YOU! Myself, I want to be taught to FLY!!! Love and prayers, xoCinda

  11. Yes, there are hard times in one's life. But with God's help we can go on...
    I had my share of it, too, already.
    Thanks for sharing this.

  12. Acceptance.
    A hard word to come to terms with when pain and suffering are involved.

  13. Wow all I can say is that you are a great writer! Where can I contact you if I want to hire you?