Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Sending you a warm Thank You!

If I could send all of you a big Thank you card for your words of encouragement and let you know how much they have provided me with nourishment through this difficult time, I would. I have reread your comments from time to time and they have kept me going. Your words have helped me to suffer patiently. THANK YOU From the bottom of my heart!

Charlie barely got through his five day chemo last week in the hospital.

The night before he went into the hospital he had mentioned to me he was dreading this chemo treatment. I tried to reassure him that this was the last one in the hospital and he was almost done. Monday in the hospital, as soon as I got Charlie settled into his room, Steph (one of our oncology nurses who has been with us through this whole ordeal) asked me how things were going and confided in me that she had felt Charlie had lost some of his fight. I had mentioned to her that Charlie was hallucinating a lot lately and also about his falling. She looked concerned and had gotten our Doctor on the phone, walked out of the room and came back in telling us that they were pulling Charlie off of the pain med he was on. Later on, Charlie had fallen asleep and woke up briefly while Steph and I were talking. He started to hallucinate while she was in the room. She looked at me and asked if this was what I was talking about? Long story short, our Doctor walked in our room at the tale end of him hallucinating witnessing this for himself. He asked me if Charlie had been having headaches and I told him, "No." Steph told me to tell our Doctor about Charlie falling the previous week. Our Doctor was a little concerned and mentioned a brain scan if the hallucinating didn't quit with the change of pain meds. *Note ~ the hallucinating and falling (which was one time) has stopped. That was just the first day.

As Tuesday came, Charlie seemed a little down which I thought was understandable. He was tired too. Then Wednesday came and PoW! During the day he seemed quiet, but he was also sick and slept through most of it. He tried to eat a little dinner and then we took a walk inside the hospital. On the way back to his room, he let me know he didn't want to finish his chemo treatment, he wanted to go home and that he was tired. He was done with it... I just didn't see that one coming. We talked our way through it and I stayed with Charlie in the hospital for the rest of his chemo treatments. Charlie's guard was down, he was was weak and fragile. It was so hard seeing him like this and it scared me. I spent a lot of time just crawling into his bed and holding him. He got through it and we got to go home!

One of the side effects to chemo is feeling anxious and not being able to sleep, and even though we had gotten a couple of prescriptions to help with that, it was still a rough weekend. He weighed 124 lbs. Saturday and was very weak. Monday and Wednesday of this week, my mom came and helped me which was a great comfort to both Charlie and I. Thank you mom!

Charlie said he didn't want to do his chemo treatment Tuesday. I told him we were to close to the finish line to stop. He didn't think the two chemo treatments that were left would make that much of a difference. I told him it could be the one that did. He had his chemo yesterday. We have one more next week. Charlie's spirit is up and he has gained two pounds. I am so proud of him!

Big exhale ~ Remember to
breathe Angela

Again ~ Thank you! I really do appreciate all of your comments. They mean so much to me!
(((bunches of warm hugs to you)))


  1. Bunches of warm hugs back to you both.

    This cannot be easy for either of you. There is nothing that I can say that will make it any easier.

    You are in my prayers and nightly Reiki session.

    Let Charlie know there is one more person who is supporting his efforts to live life on his own terms.

    You are blessed to have each other.

  2. Peace and strength to you both as you get through this last chemo next week. I continue to click on your site daily in my favorites list and pray for complete healing for Charlie.

  3. YOU are welcome sweet woman! Love and prayers are being sent thru the air to Ca. right at this second! Can YOU feel it?!! HOPE so! I'll be thinking of YOU and Charlie today and lighting a candle for him! and your whole family!((((Angela&Charlie&family))))
    <3, <3, <3

  4. I pray for you almost daily, for Charlie I mean.
    And for you.
    We never know what life holds in store for us...
    Hang in there. You are doing 'it'. I am glad that he gained weight again.

  5. I am speechless in the face of yours and Charlie's courageous fight against this enemy; proud and hopeful that the tide has seemed to turn.

    Yayyy, Charlie is gaining weight and continuing with the chemo treatments that are left. We are all with you, sending you our strength, faith, love.

    (((warm hugs to you & yours)))

  6. Oh Angela, you are the wife of all wives...What a treasure Charlie has in you. I remember years ago when Mary Dupree was suffering from cancer and chemo, and her husband would crawl up in the bed with her, and tell her how beautiful she was, (bald and skinny) ~~~ I thought that is LOVE, and that is what you are giving Charlie ~~ You will get through this, and you and C will have many trips to the beach, and around the World if you want too.
    Love you from the bottom of my heart!!
    Prayer for you contantly...
    Wanda Mom and Pastor Dad.

  7. I'm praying as I read this. I will go crawl in bed and fall asleep praying for you both - and your gorgeous kids. I love you so much.

  8. Both of you are still in my prayers.

  9. Angela... I don't know you and was blessed enough to be sent to your blog via Darlene.

    How is it that we can so connect with one another's hearts through reading blogs... we come to know that person in part.

    I feel your pain as you watch your hubby go through this. How blessed he is to have you as his cheerleader and best friend.

    I am praying that Charlie will finish the chemo and that you're right it might be the last one that he has that heals him. I pray that we can all be an encouragement to you as you cheer him on.

    Hugs across the miles,

  10. sweet love,
    I look forward to the day when this battle is won and time can be spent with you, on you, doing what you want to do.

    What a brave wife you are...

    This experience has uncovered the true grit strength you have. I know there are days when you feel that you can't take another step and then you run the next mile.

    you are amazing and Charlie is blessed to have you.

    Pretty soon'll be making that big pot of beans that Charlie loves and we'll fatten him up ;)

    I love you a ton!
    xoxo d

  11. MMMMMMmmmMMMm beans, that sounds YUMMY! Love and prayers are still in the air Angela! Get Well Charlie!!! xo, Cinda

  12. Reading through your blog I can feel your strength. You really are wonderful Angela and this blog will help so many people who find themselves in the same situation. Just keep on remembering, one step at a time. One day at a time. Its easier that way somehow. I smile reading about the 2 pounds. A gift to lift the spirits!
    The most wonderful thing to come out of all of this is the love. Six years down the line I realize we jumped many steps up on the love graph having been through such an experience together. A new love of respect, gratitude and togetherness.

  13. just keep the faith my sweet

    love & hugs

  14. just keep the faith my sweet

    love & hugs