Friday, February 15, 2008
Happy Anniversary ~
Valentine's Day just so happens to be my wedding anniversary too. This year, we have been married 22 years. My sweet husband has always made a point to put time aside for just the two of us and we would get away to the coast where we actually got married. For twenty-one years we have never missed a year. My husband pleaded with me that he was feeling fine for us to not miss this year. It was against my better judgement and I told him not this year. His feelings were hurt and it broke my heart. I just couldn't take the comforts of home away from him. I promised that we would go when he felt better.
Yesterday morning, I woke up to an empty bed. Charlie has been getting up when he is in pain, only for me to find him asleep, sitting in his recliner chair. He tells me he doesn't want to wake me up, and that he knows that I get up at 4:45 a.m. to get ready for work and wants me to get my sleep. I felt alone. Before I took my shower, I made the coffee and put some more wood into the wood stove to get the fire started. I felt his arms come around my waist and he kissed me, then saying "Happy Anniversary." I kissed him back and said, "Happy Anniversary baby."
I got to work and was doing okay. After work, I had to run a few errands and that is when it hit me. Everyone was so happy, dressed up, picking up flowers and chocolates, special ingredients for their special dinner. I had the sudden urge to pick up every vase of flowers and throw them across the grocery store. Chuck every heart full of chocolates into the air, not caring where they landed. It continued with feeling like popping every "Happy Valentine's" balloon. My world felt like it just stopped unlike everyone else. I felt so angry! Don't worry, I didn't actually act on my internal melt down. I chose to use my spirit of self control.
I came home, put the grocery's away. Started a bland dinner I was hoping that my husband could eat. The dogs started barking. I went to the front door to see who/what they were barking at. It was a flower van with a lady pulling out a vase of beautiful roses. She came up to the door and asked for Angela. I said, "That's me." She said, "These are for you." Dumb found, I shut the door. Charlie had asked confused "Who are those for?" I looked at the card and read out loud, "Happy 22nd Anniversary Angela. You are the love of my life." I started to cry as he gave me a hug. He knows that I really don't like him buying flowers from a "flower store." They cost so much money. I would rather him go to the corner of a road and buy them from a man trying to make a living. I think they are nicer too. He told me he just couldn't. It was our twenty second anniversary. He then told me he knew that white roses were my favorite, but he had to get some red. He also added that if I would notice that there were a total of 22 roses. Twelve red ones because he figured we had to have more love to get us through the 22 years of marriage. The 10 white ones were for me and what they stood for. He put some thought into my bouquet of roses and they were truly beautiful.