Saturday, January 31, 2009

Angel Cat Lady

In an old almost deserted fishing town, there is a restaurant at the end of the dock with houses and old buildings lined up right next to each other. My family and I went to this restaurant famous for its clam chowder and other fish meals. It was wonderful!

As we were walking back to our truck, the sound of a soft clanking drew my attention. I admired the old rusty tin dishes as they were swaying in the breeze.

The pretty flowers were scattered everywhere with care in this little garden.

There was a stake posted with a handmade sign stating, "This is not a public bathroom... Please DO NOT pee in my yard!" I loved the Witty humor this person had.

I came upon the garden where it opened up more. There was a door with a cat angel heading to the back yard.

To the side of this door, there was a little old lady sitting in the richly tilled chocolate brown dirt. She wore a magenta printed dress with bare feet and her silver hair fell just beneath her shoulders. I found myself just watching her as she was eating something out of a tin bucket that looked like clams to me. This old lady looked up and said, "Hello." As we were talking, I started noticing all of the cats that were perched here and there. The old lady said she takes the cats in and gives them a good home until she can find a permanent one for them. She takes them to the vet and even had names for each of them. She went on to tell me she felt she was honestly just a woman that grew old and has surrounded herself with cats. She chuckled as she shared with me that her daughter warns her, "no more!" She just can't help it and has a soft heart for animals.

I had almost forgot that my family was waiting for me where we had parked down the street. I could have talked with her longer... maybe even shared a cup of tea. I wished that I had gotten her name and asked if I could have taken a picture of her. She was a sweetie. I am glad that we did share a moment in time with one another.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Standing Still


Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

David Wagoner

Sunday, January 18, 2009

No SH**!

When my son Rob was home for Christmas, he noticed that I had added a few new words to my vocabulary. I have to admit... I was not shocked by his observation. I too have noticed that I have a favorite word... or two. I will use them when I mess up or when I am frustrated. I can have, at times, a pottie mouth. I am not proud of this. I do not smoke or drink and that is not my excuse, but I have found it to be my new form of release, if you will, of some stress. I can tell myself as much as I like, that there is an art to some cussing to get your point across or is needed to be a part of a story... I can decorate it as much I like, the truth is, it still is not pretty. I know better.

I used to walk daily, which was not only a form of some exercise, I found it to be a productive way to release some stress. It also helped me with my bouts of depression. Since my husband became ill, I gave up walking because obviously my attention was needed else where. Now that Charlie is doing better, I have yet to get back into a walking routine and know that I need to do that again.

I have been making a mindful attempt not to use these words in my vocabulary and in doing this, it has made me realize how much I use the word "sh**". ~ It has become more than an occasional slip.
If only a piece of Orbit gum could be the simple solution to take care of a dirty mouth.

*note ~ high lighted sentence in purple is a link. It is funny... check it out.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Tail of Two Feathers ~

She noticed him from a distance,

as he was grazing on the lawn.

She couldn't help but notice his broad muscular neck

or how beautiful his feathers were as

his tail flowed across the grass.

She thought if she could get a little closer to him,

he might also notice her.

Uh oh... he is looking!

It was love at first sight!

And that is the tail of how they met.

This last Saturday, Charlie called me while he was at work. He asked me if I would like to go out to dinner and go see a movie. I wasn't expecting that at all and was a little surprised to say the least; he comes home from work and just collapses. I didn't think he would really feel up to going out after a day of work, but he did! We went to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants called Minnie's. We took our time and enjoyed the conversation between one another. We went to the movies and saw the new Clint Eastwood movie Gran Torino. Charlie even got some popcorn and a soda. When the movie was over, we strolled over to Starbucks to get a couple of our favorite drinks and sat on a bench beneath a tree with twinkling lights in it. It was such a nice night. I can't remember the last time we went on a "date". He is feeling good and stronger every day. He expressed to me how he wanted us to treat the time we spend together as if it was our last and really cherish it.

I can understand where he is coming from. When you have gone through something like we have this last year... you tend to look at life through cancer colored glasses. It is just too bad that sometimes it takes something like this to get to that point to really appreciate each other and know what really matters.

* Story above has no relation to how I met Charlie.

Charlie's :
MRI impression ~ Normal mild bone edema at T7 on the left side with associated mild enhancement, most likely related to degenerative changes as opposed to metastatic disease, although this cannot be completely ruled out. Close followup is recommended.

C-Scan ~ has become smaller is size.


Sunday, January 11, 2009

I love my Ariat 'FatBaby'

Distressed Brown Bombers w/my Levi Strauss Button Up 501 Jeans

I initially got my FatBaby boots to leave in the Trailer for our excursions. I found them to be a no stress option and just too easy to pull on at any given time. I would get up to take our chi Samone out in the morning to go tinkle and only have on boxer shorts with a thrown on sweat shirt hoodie, hair tasseled and my boots. Charlie would just snicker as I walked Samone until she did her business. I decided to take my boots out of the trailer on one of our trips back. I couldn't let them go. I have noticed that I want to be comfortable the older I get and less stress is best! It's not that I have let fashion fly out the door. I just don't care much anymore what people think.

One day Charlie called to ask me to go to a late breakfast. I had been busy doing chores around the house. I told him that I had not taken a shower and that I was in my grey sweats, and a tie-dye tank top. He said that he only had time to go now. I said, "well, then I am not changing. I am going the way that I am." I heard a dreaded sigh come out of him as he hesitated saying, "Well, then put on a sweatshirt ." He has been working on someones house in town a few blocks over, so he picked me up right away. I came out with my grey sweats, tie-dye tank hanging out from under my ocean teal blue sweat shirt and my FatBabies on. He just shook his head with a silly grin on his face. As we walked to the Cafe where everyone goes to in town, He saw that it was full and kissed me on the cheek as he put his arm around me. I just looked at him and said, "What?" He said smiling, "You have no shame." I said my hello's to the customers that we knew.

I went over to my
girl friends house two doors down who warned me she was still in her nightgown. I told her, "Oh that's okay." When I first enter her home, she always checks me from head to toe, holding me by my arms like someone does when they haven't seen a good friend for a long time. Then she got to my boots and started giggling. I had on my FatBabies, pajama bottoms, t-shirt, sweater and a hooded pea coat. She pulled me in and took a deep breath of me. As she holds me she checks me to see if I have been eating. That is one of her ways to see if I am okay. It is really sweet, like in a protective kind of way. Then she wants to talk about my boots. She loves shoes and asks me why I haven't put these on my blog?! I told her people don't want to know about my boots! She said, "Not just the boots, they have a story."

I am sharing my boots with you ladies. These are so comfortable. My daughter Diandra introduced me to them years ago. They come in so many different colors. Right now a lot of them are also on sale if you are interested. Check them out! The link is below.

The Boot Barn

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Diving In

Gingerbread Latte

I always find it hard to blog after I have been absent. I don't know why that is. I also find it hard to comment on blogs. It feels like I have arrived to the party late. When you have been some place (in your life) and every one's has still been going and thriving. I just feel out of sorts... it is hard to explain. I have been feeling like this for some time now. I feel like I have to just dive in no matter what the temperature of the water is. At times I have contemplated in deleting my blog. I feel that bloggging has been a great experience, but I also don't like the way it makes me feel some of the time. I then think of the badge that has been around for quite some time, Blogging Without Obligation:

* Because you shouldn't have to look at your blog like it is a treadmill.

* Because its okay to just say what you have to say. If that makes for a long post, fine. Short post, fine. Frequent post, fine. Infrequent post, fine.

* Because its okay to not always be enthralled with the sound of your own typing.

* Because sometimes less is more.

* Because only blogging when you feel truly inspired keeps up the integrity of your blog.

* Because they are probably not going to inscribe your stat, link and comment numbers on your tombstone.

* Because for most of us blogging is just a hobby. A way to express yourself and connect with others. You should not have to
apologize for lapses in posts. Just take a step back and enjoy life, not everything you do has to be "bloggable".

* Because if you blog without obligation you will naturally keep your blog around longer, because it won't be a chore. Plus, just think you will be doing your part to eradicate post pollution. One post at a time. . .

One post at a time...


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Good Ol' Window shopping ~


Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters entry door

Urban Outfitters

Wall Garden

This last Saturday, my daughter Diandra had to take a test in Fresno. She asked me to go with her to keep her company on this long drive and suggested that I do some shopping while she took the test. I thought that sounded nice. I always like to take time browsing through some of my favorite stores and also see what else is out there. We got there in time for her test, but realized that I was going to have to hang out an hour and one half before the stores actually opened. I walked around the stores and looked through the windows to see which one I thought was worthy to actually go into. I figured that it would save me some time and I could make a plan. I got cold and decided to go to Starbucks. I sat down on a bench that was behind this other bench. A young man in a business suit sat down on the bench in front of me with his coffee and flipped his phone open and started looking at pictures of himself admiring his tattoo that was across his back from shoulder to shoulder. That felt a little uncomfortable, so I got up, walked around and did some more window shopping. The stores finally opened and I was so excited to finally enter Anthropologie. I immediately went to the clearance racks to see what I could find. My cell phone rang and I pulled it out of my coat pocket to see who it was. I was confused because I seen Diandra's pretty little face come up on the screen of my phone. She had told me they weren't allowed to have their phones, so I wouldn't be hearing from her until the test was over which was scheduled at 1:00 in the afternoon. She was calling to tell me that they were having problems with the test and it was canceled. Diandra was so frustrated and disappointed. She would have to reschedule and be going by herself this time. I was disappointed too, but felt bad for her even more. Oh well... I did do some serious window shopping.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Here and Gone

Playing the game Monopoly on New Years Eve

Driving Rob back to the airport :(

Some of the Christmas decorations to be packed away

It has been a wonderful vacation! Although at times, it felt as if I was in the middle of a whirlwind. It all went by so quickly. I knew that it would.

Rob spent a lot of time with his dad. He went to work with him and helped with the chores around the house. It felt so good to have him home. It felt as if my family was complete. I guess that is the way a mother feels when her little birds fly away from home and come back for visits.

On New Years Eve we decided to play the game of Monopoly. I asked the question why they picked out the token that they did to represent themselves.

In their own words...

Charlie ~ the wheel barrow... to haul all of the $.
Nessa ~ pot of gold... rich in quality.
Rob ~ car... likes to drive and travel. If he loses all of his money, he figures he can sleep in it.
Diandra ~ horse... wild and free spirit, adheres to no rules. Defines self.
Me ~ dog... love unconditionally.

It was Nessa's first time playing Monopoly with us. I have to tell you that my family are serious Monopoly players. The object of the game is to become the wealthiest player through buying, renting and selling property. A few "new" rules try to get through the game and the trusty rule pamphlet gets pulled out to go over the rules that have already been printed. I personally do not like this game. Nessa at one point said, "I am not having fun... I didn't know that I was playing with professional Monopoly players!" I have learned through the years to take this game with a grain of salt. It always starts out fun, but I find it interesting what money and wealth can bring out in each person. All of our boys wives can not believe how we (not really me) get over this game. It all started with Charlie's family.

The next morning, Nessa and I took Rob to the airport. I feel like I should explain... Nessa will be staying with us for the winter and spring semester to finish up her senior year in college. While she was in Nebraska, she continued to go to college and had a problem transferring those units to/from California. It all couldn't be helped. Rob will be coming home some time in March or April so that they can see each other in the mid-point of her stay here. It will be hard for them, but it will be really good to get college all wrapped up and get started on her career.

So it came to the dreaded moment of driving to the airport. We tried listening to the radio on the way to get our minds off of the separation. It seemed like every song that came on had to do with missing one another. I could hardly take it. We had to laugh every time the radio channel got changed to another station.

I kept all of the decorations up in the house, including the Christmas tree for the duration of his visit. When we got home from the airport, Nessa and I drove up to the house with both of the Christmas trees sitting outside. I don't know how Diandra got the bigger one of the two out by herself; her dad even questioned her about it. Diandra was trying to get a head start for me, and had left the living room with all of the decorations. I left it for the remaining of the day. I told myself that I would do it tomorrow.