Wednesday, June 18, 2008
A Closer Look
When you are going through anything that life throws at you, it always allows you to look at things differently. One day on our "week away" to the beach, our friends suggested going to the Village of Capitola. California's oldest seaside resort is a charming, eclectic coastal town. The beach is enclosed between two bluffs, and reminds one of a Mediterranean resort. Capitola Beach is bordered by the Esplanade, lined with shops, galleries & dozens of restaurants. It is beautiful and the people are too! Although it sounded wonderful, once we got there I felt like we were so out of place. It was hard to go into the shops where I once loved to go through as my husband, who could be seen from the shop's window, stood outside waiting. This time, however, the look on his face was a feeling of just being uncomfortable. He was skinny as a rail, and looked the part of having full blown cancer and had gone through intensive chemo treatments. As he encouraged me to go through these shops, I just didn't want to be there, let alone trying on clothes or toe rings. The first shop that I went into was called Ome and the lady who was behind the counter asked me how I was enjoying my day. I could have said, "Oh, it is good!" but I didn't. I was honest and told her about my life from the beginning of this year in a nut shell. As she looked at my husband, her eyes got watery. She understood. I explained to her, it just didn't feel right being there, doing the shopping thing. As I poured out my heart to this lady that I had just met, she listened, shared her experiences and what she was going through also. You just never know. I felt a peace and knew it was okay to feel what I was feeling. She was an angel. Instead of pretending to be happy with all of the others walking the wonderful village of Capitola, I was honest with someone who cared. I shared my day with my mom, and she said I was supposed to go into that shop first, and meet this lady. It was a divine moment. Going through something like this, has allowed me to take a closer look at what is important in my life, what matters and to be really honest with myself. It is nice to feel grateful in all this turmoil.