Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Closer Look

When you are going through anything that life throws at you, it always allows you to look at things differently. One day on our "week away" to the beach, our friends suggested going to the Village of Capitola. California's oldest seaside resort is a charming, eclectic coastal town. The beach is enclosed between two bluffs, and reminds one of a Mediterranean resort. Capitola Beach is bordered by the Esplanade, lined with shops, galleries & dozens of restaurants. It is beautiful and the people are too! Although it sounded wonderful, once we got there I felt like we were so out of place. It was hard to go into the shops where I once loved to go through as my husband, who could be seen from the shop's window, stood outside waiting. This time, however, the look on his face was a feeling of just being uncomfortable. He was skinny as a rail, and looked the part of having full blown cancer and had gone through intensive chemo treatments. As he encouraged me to go through these shops, I just didn't want to be there, let alone trying on clothes or toe rings. The first shop that I went into was called Ome and the lady who was behind the counter asked me how I was enjoying my day. I could have said, "Oh, it is good!" but I didn't. I was honest and told her about my life from the beginning of this year in a nut shell. As she looked at my husband, her eyes got watery. She understood. I explained to her, it just didn't feel right being there, doing the shopping thing. As I poured out my heart to this lady that I had just met, she listened, shared her experiences and what she was going through also. You just never know. I felt a peace and knew it was okay to feel what I was feeling. She was an angel. Instead of pretending to be happy with all of the others walking the wonderful village of Capitola, I was honest with someone who cared. I shared my day with my mom, and she said I was supposed to go into that shop first, and meet this lady. It was a divine moment. Going through something like this, has allowed me to take a closer look at what is important in my life, what matters and to be really honest with myself. It is nice to feel grateful in all this turmoil.


  1. Your blog is one of my favorites because every time I read it I get this sense of...peace and serenity (don't ask me why). I'm one of those people who walks around happy with a smile, even when things are bad. I never want to burden anyone with my problems and a lot of the time I feel like no one would understand anyway. But sometimes you get to that point when you just have to be honest. Saying how you really feel can be so liberating. Sometimes we don't realize the heaviness we are carrying until we let go of it. This blog is very touching and your family is still in my prayers.

  2. my sweetie,
    what your going through and what you are coming out of has only made you a stronger woman. sometimes it really does help to look at things in a different light. you were destined to meet and share with a stranger and that was a good thing.

    your honesty has always been awesome!

    big hug and plenty of love your way

  3. Sometimes I have wanted to say "Are you sure you're fine? You don't look fine. But nobody likes a prying person.

    At other times I want to say, "I'm having a terrible day, week, month. Let me tell you about it. But nobody likes a complainer.

    If we could only take more chances with each other like you did with one stranger, we might notice that pryers are really good listeners and complainers are really your next close friend.

  4. My dear Angela ~~ I'm sorry I've been distant ~~ feeling a little blue, then I remember what you are going through, and see my own little issues as nothing.

    Soon, I will have the chance to email you a long one...
    In the meantime, I'm loving you.

    Wanda Mom

  5. Now my eyes are getting watery.