Sunday, May 1, 2011


Screaming Why?

It didn't matter how hard I tried
I couldn't make you stay
You didn't care about the tears I cried
I knew you'd walk away

I saw the signs all over the place
The words "I'm leaving" written on your face

You slipped away in the night
Running fast from all that is right

Discarding the gift you were given
Fading into the dissolute life you're living

Lost in deception and fantasy
Refusing to live in reality

Why would you waste such a beautiful mind
Submit it to your world of lies

So consumed in your selfishness
While trying to fill the emptiness

Is this all you wanted to attain
Another high to kill the pain

Tell me, is this all that remains
Intoxication to drown your shame

Paint your smile, but you can't hide
From the guilt you feel inside

It's clear to me you've made your choice
How it kills me to hear your voice

You despise the truth when it's spoken
Prefer to live a life that's broken

Embracing your beloved addiction
Blind to your fatal affliction

Losing pieces of who you are
How will you know when you've gone too far

Will you want freedom before it's too late
Before time has sealed your fate

Or do you love those chains you wear
Is your life really not worth the care

Tell me, will I watch another die
Then stand at your grave screaming "WHY?"


The author of this poem is Rachael Lund. I contacted her and she was not only kind enough to grant me permission to use her poem, but has also given me support and prayer regarding my sister. She knows through firsthand experience, the pain of loving someone that is a drug addict and the pain of losing them.

Thank you Rachael!


  1. I have to say my sweet Mija this brought so many tears to me when looking at the photos and reading such a profound poem. I constantly pray for your little sister and I hope that she finds the her way back to her children and family. I constantly pray for YOU as well that you may find peace with the situation and taking the steps for peace with in you knowing that You have done all you can do and feeling no guilt for living your life with YOUR immediate family.
    I am proud of you for being a wonderful daughter to your mother, for being a great big sister to your sisters, for being a great wife, super mom/mother in law to your own kids, a special grandmother to your grand-kids, a caring friend to your friends, a fun aunt to your nieces and nephews, a beautiful niece to your aunts and uncles. you my sweet angel are not only my beautiful niece you are also my dearest friend. I could go on and on but you know I always speak the truth.
    peace and hugs with you and yours
    LOVE you to the moon and beyond muah XOXO

  2. This powerful and touching posts leave me speechless, except to say, my dear Angela ~~ I love you, I support you, I'm praying for you and your sister.

    Loving you big time today...
    Wanda Mom

  3. Our family knows first hand how this hurts, so my prayers and loving thoughts are with you, as always.
    Love you dear friend...
    big hugs