Friday, January 22, 2010
Sun Through Dark Clouds ~
What a journey this has been!
I decided to take a Medical Terminology class this Spring semester. Incidentally, the class started the night before I took the NCCT. I told myself when I enrolled at the beginning of January that I should be prepared enough to take a three hour break and attend the first class and have it not affect my studying. The class will be challenging, there are 350 words to memorize and know (it is a matter of knowing how to break the word down), but if I pass with a 90%, I will get a certificate. I came home and immediately started going over my flash cards for the NCCT. My brain was tired and everything coming in seemed like there was an electrical short. Yet, I had no problem comprehending the thoughts of self doubt that started charging throughout my mind. The "WHAT do you think you are doing? You can't be serious... you are NEVER going to be able to pull this off! Pffft ~" I felt overwhelmed with these kinds of thoughts. I was exhausted and then I could hear my girlfriend Summer telling me two days ago, "Get plenty of rest - big test coming up! It takes two days for lack of sleep to catch up, so getting plenty of sleep tonight is important. Break a leg!" I crawled into bed and as I laid there, I felt the tears stream down the side of my face. I began to pray that God would just bind those negative thoughts up and would put a hedge of protection around my mind... to help me know my self worth through Him.
I got to the building where the NCCT was to be taken. The anticipation was killing me. I just wanted it over and then I didn't. So much was riding on the next few hours. There were six of us taking the test and we were finally asked to sit at our computers. You are not going to believe this: not even 1/3 of what I studied for in preparation for the Phlebotomy Tech 1 test was on it. Twenty questions into it, I started to get nervous. I took every bit of the 2 1/2 hours they gave us to take the test. I had 37 minutes left and decided to go over every question again and then ended up with 13 minutes left. I just sat there and thought, "This is it." I knew that once I pressed the "Finish" button there was no going back. I was so scared that I might have failed. My hand guided the mouse to where the icon said "finish". I hit the finish button on the computer and the word "PASSED with 80%" came up on the screen. I couldn't believe it! The lady who watched us take our test came over to me and said, "Congratulations! Good job! You may go now." I got into my car and just sat there. As the rain poured down like crazy, I sat in my car for twenty minutes and cried my eyes out. I felt myself let go to all of those "self doubt thoughts" I held onto and thanked God. I got a hold of myself and called my husband and daughter (who were waiting so very patiently) to tell them the news. I went home and laid on the couch pretty much the rest of that day because I felt worn out (and still do)! I am so glad that is OVER with!
I will be going out to dinner next week with my fellow classmate Sarah to celebrate both of our passing the NCCT. She took the test on Christmas Eve in Walnut Creek. I knew there was no way that I could have done that with all of the holiday festivities. I took the next available date and she has waited for me to take my test. Now we can go.
For those who have lifted me up in prayer, kept me in positive thoughts and supported me throughout this crazy journey of mine, I want to thank you. I was telling my sweet friend Sheila, if it wasn't for my family and people like you (and her) in my life, rooting me on and basically being the wind beneath my wings, I couldn't have done any of this.
You'll never know how much it means to me and I thank you... from the bottom of my heart.