My Weekend ~

My weekend started Friday with taking the girls (our chi's) to get their nails clipped. The main road where our Veterinarian's office is located has a beautiful walking path that I have admired for quite some time. I thought that I would take the girls for a walk after their appointment. As I was taking in the sights, I noticed there were signs attached to the old fashioned street lights. I started to panic as I read, "Failure to bring a bag to pick up feces may result in a $50, $100, $200 fine." Well, needless to say, my plan to take the girls for a walk was not so well-thought- out and was cut short. Note to self; put bags in trunk of car. After we ate dinner, we moved my armoire that I didn't need anymore over to Rob and Nessa's place; she needed some closet space. Later that night, I watched one of the CD installment's to the first season of The Third Watch (one of my favorite Television shows that ended several years ago).

Saturday morning, I ran some errands and went grocery shopping. It was absolutely crazy/busy with people shopping for the Super Bowl and I could not wait to get home! It took me 3 1/2 hours! I was able to take a much needed nap in the afternoon for staying up so late the night before.

Charlie and I were invited by one of his clients to a Crab feed Saturday night. The tickets cost $150 a couple! We felt flattered that he asked us and very blessed at the same time. We accepted his kind offer. I was a little nervous though, because I had never been to a crab feed before. I don't know why, but I always envisioned these functions to be a drunken chow hall episode; kinda in an unruly sort of way. We drove with another couple to the clients home and well, let me just say, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It wasn't how I visioned it to be at all. We mingled at Charlie's clients home for about thirty minutes and then headed to the Crab Feed. When we got there, on one side of the building, there were ordure's laid all out elegantly on broken pieces of granite. We drank wine, ate and chatted while listening to some live music. On the way to our table, we (with the other couple we were with) were introduced to all of Charlie's client's acquaintances. We sat down at our table and dinner started with the white or red wine of your choice, a green salad and then seasoned vegetables, pesto parmesan pasta and bread. Then the endless galvanized buckets of marinated crab and shrimp came, came and came. I thought our stomach's were going to burst! We ate our desert consisting of dark chocolate brownies and blueberries drizzled with chocolate syrup and coffee, and listened to the winners of the raffle and silent drawing. When it was time to leave, we headed back to Charlie's clients home and sat around the long farm dining table. We were all busy talking about our kids, politics, the economy, education, construction, the school system, relationships, sharing things about our family, our hopes and dreams and having such a good time, we had not realized it was close to 1:00 in the morning! I had the BEST time!

We watched and enjoyed the Super Bowl on Sunday. Rob and Nessa brought drinks. I made a huge veggie tray with hummus, bowls of chips and dip spread out on the counter in the kitchen. Diandra's contribution was home made fudge with walnuts (so good!). Charlie had some ribs going in the rotisserie oven I got him for Christmas too.

I had a good weekend! I guess this weekend has come to mean so much to me because it was the first time since Charlie got cancer that the weight of it all wasn't heavy and lingering in our minds; making it feel lighter. It just felt really good to be with family and friends. I feel very blessed!
:)

More sharing below ~

My whisk broke and I had to replace it a year ago. My daughter found one that is very much like the one I had, if not better. I like this whisk so much, I have included it with my birthday, bridal shower or wedding gift giving. Check out this Fabulous heart shaped whisk.

I found these recently; Wonderful 95% Recycled Totes. Beautiful!

Charlie and I are getting ready to take a hike and I saw a man on The Fisherman's Wharf on our last trip to Monterey with one of these; The Pet Pouch to keep your best friend snuggled close to you. I love it and so do my chi's!

We Love & Want To Be Loved

"I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know - unless it be to share our laughter.

We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we love and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.

For wanderers, dreamers, and lovers, for lonely men and women who dare to ask of life everything good and beautiful. It is for those who are too gentle to live among wolves."

~James Kavanaugh

Sharing Some ~

It's hard to believe that the weather forecast is calling rain for the next four days. At the moment the sky is so blue with some scattered fluffy clouds that make you wish you could jump from one to the other. Could the ground hog be wrong?

I am enjoying my Medical Terminology class so far and my first test is tonight. My teacher informed us that with learning 350 words, we will be able to put over 1000 words together and should also know them as well by the end of this semester. I better buy a bottle of Ginkgo Biloba!

I have been squeezing as much as I can out of the last of this Winter season by watching rented movies and playing board games with my family. I also made my first butternut squash soup from scratch and it was so good! I smashed an avocado and added a layer of that to my turkey, lettuce, tomato on a toasted Winter Berry nut bread. The soup/sandwich combination complimented each other so well and I might add, was so satisfying to my mind as well as my tummy! Have you noticed that when you have a colorful rainbow pallet before you when you eat a meal, it really does make a difference! In all of those colors, your body is getting all that it needs. So when you eat, keep in mind... COLOR! COLOR! COLOR!

Before you know it, Spring will be here and the weather will be inviting us out to enjoy the earth's awakening from a Winter's sleep and the new birth of blossoms.

Whether you have a Pet, Guitar, Luggage or a Camera, there are some straps in all prints to suit your fancy here at Phatstraps.

A yummy site where you can design a custom made organic cereal mix here at Mix My Granola.

The Greatest Hour

On my drive to clinicals, it took me through the country and I could not help notice the big oak tree in the picture down below. On the last day, I left a little earlier than usual so that I could stop and get a picture. I looked in my rear view mirror to see if there were any cars behind me so that I could pull to the right safely. It was then I noticed the sun rising up behind me. I loved how the road met the sun. It was quite a scene. I snapped the shutter button and then turned around to take a picture of the oak tree. I noticed how the sun shined on the tree and made it seem all the more grand.



“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”

Eleanor Roosevelt



In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths. If only because... you went through it.

Sun Through Dark Clouds ~

What a journey this has been!

I decided to take a Medical Terminology class this Spring semester. Incidentally, the class started the night before I took the NCCT. I told myself when I enrolled at the beginning of January that I should be prepared enough to take a three hour break and attend the first class and have it not affect my studying. The class will be challenging, there are 350 words to memorize and know (it is a matter of knowing how to break the word down), but if I pass with a 90%, I will get a certificate. I came home and immediately started going over my flash cards for the NCCT. My brain was tired and everything coming in seemed like there was an electrical short. Yet, I had no problem comprehending the thoughts of self doubt that started charging throughout my mind. The "WHAT do you think you are doing? You can't be serious... you are NEVER going to be able to pull this off! Pffft ~" I felt overwhelmed with these kinds of thoughts. I was exhausted and then I could hear my girlfriend Summer telling me two days ago, "Get plenty of rest - big test coming up! It takes two days for lack of sleep to catch up, so getting plenty of sleep tonight is important. Break a leg!" I crawled into bed and as I laid there, I felt the tears stream down the side of my face. I began to pray that God would just bind those negative thoughts up and would put a hedge of protection around my mind... to help me know my self worth through Him.

I got to the building where the NCCT was to be taken. The anticipation was killing me. I just wanted it over and then I didn't. So much was riding on the next few hours. There were six of us taking the test and we were finally asked to sit at our computers. You are not going to believe this: not even 1/3 of what I studied for in preparation for the Phlebotomy Tech 1 test was on it. Twenty questions into it, I started to get nervous. I took every bit of the 2 1/2 hours they gave us to take the test. I had 37 minutes left and decided to go over every question again and then ended up with 13 minutes left. I just sat there and thought, "This is it." I knew that once I pressed the "Finish" button there was no going back. I was so scared that I might have failed. My hand guided the mouse to where the icon said "finish". I hit the finish button on the computer and the word "PASSED with 80%" came up on the screen. I couldn't believe it! The lady who watched us take our test came over to me and said, "Congratulations! Good job! You may go now." I got into my car and just sat there. As the rain poured down like crazy, I sat in my car for twenty minutes and cried my eyes out. I felt myself let go to all of those "self doubt thoughts" I held onto and thanked God. I got a hold of myself and called my husband and daughter (who were waiting so very patiently) to tell them the news. I went home and laid on the couch pretty much the rest of that day because I felt worn out (and still do)! I am so glad that is OVER with!

I will be going out to dinner next week with my fellow classmate Sarah to celebrate both of our passing the NCCT. She took the test on Christmas Eve in Walnut Creek. I knew there was no way that I could have done that with all of the holiday festivities. I took the next available date and she has waited for me to take my test. Now we can go.

For those who have lifted me up in prayer, kept me in positive thoughts and supported me throughout this crazy journey of mine, I want to thank you. I was telling my sweet friend Sheila, if it wasn't for my family and people like you (and her) in my life, rooting me on and basically being the wind beneath my wings, I couldn't have done any of this.

You'll never know how much it means to me and I thank you... from the bottom of my heart.

:)

A Feeling ~

This morning, I woke up at 4:30. The house was dark, except with the glow of my little accent lamps and night lights leading me to the coffee pot. As I started to make the coffee, I could hear the wind through the sweet melody by the way my wind chimes were flowing. I stepped outside to grab a couple logs of wood to start the fire and could hear the rain drops hitting the water in the pool. I breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. Ahh ~

As I sat still, in my favorite green chair by the fire, I let my body wake up slowly and just listened... I let myself be there in the moment; be a part of it, accepting it fully.

My day is just getting started ~

I am going to make myself a bowl of creamy oatmeal with sliced banana's, sprinkled brown sugar and finely chopped walnuts. Mmm...

;)

A Long Healing ~

Christening the New Year 2010

I told myself that the day after Christmas, "There would be no more messing around for me," and I HAD to get serious about studying for the NCCT. I stayed away from the computer, phone, television and got down to business. Although on New Year's Eve, I did manage to stroll through my favorite blogs to see what everyone was up to and how they were celebrating the transition of the old and coming New Year. I came across a blog post that touched me deeply. Darlene decided to do an exercise of looking back on the past decade that left her reeling. I decided to try this exercise and I started writing down events that happened in each year. There was a couple of years it was very hard for me to remember things. As I wrote, it was interesting to me what lead to the loss of memory and looking at it made more sense to me and helped me to understand where I was at that time in my life.

Looking back I realized the first two years were preparing me for the next eight. The first year we had a lot of friends that we spent a lot of time with. We had dinner on a regular basis, went shopping and scheduled our vacations together. Time was rarely spent with our immediate family. The second year, I started to feel a shift in the circle of people we spent so much time with and started to see things for what they truly were; there is a reason why it is said, God ~ Family ~ Friends. I started to rely more on God than my friends and everything started to fall into it's right place. I got a call from my dad saying that he wasn't feeling well. The next eight years were rough. My sister and I took care of my dad for a little over a year while he had lung cancer. He unfortunately lost his life at a young age of 59 years of age. Seeing someone you love go through an illness like that was very hard. For the next year, I crashed and if I wasn't in bed sleeping, I dragged myself to work (school cafeteria for 3 1/2 hours). Charlie took me to see our doctor and I was put on an anti-depressant for almost a little over a year. I then started noticing changes in my daughter. She finally realized and admitted she had a eating disorder; it got pretty bad and she went to Stanford for a while. I got off of the anti-depressants and crashed again. Long story short, I started taking care of myself. My son Rob went into the Military and that was scary all on its own. I started learning coping skills to help deal with life. Things were starting to look up and almost five years after my dad died, Charlie wasn't feeling good, went to the doctor, and he had cancer. I will never forget the first two days of learning this news; I was in a fetal position lying on my bed. I remember picking myself up and getting on the computer, trying to learn everything there was to learn about cancer through swollen eyelids. I had to be strong and be there for my husband; we were going to get through this. I will never forget the support of family and friends through this difficult time. We had friends that came to the hospital (one who would tell me to take a break), family and friends that brought us dinner (at home and in the hospital), friends that stayed with Charlie when I couldn't be there and friends who would leave me messages on my blog and emails from all over the world lifting us up in positive thoughts and prayers ((Thank you)). Charlie sat me down after his chemo was finished (Feb-May) and said I had to go back to school and get my high school diploma because it was making him sick to think of what might happen to me, if something happened to him. I concentrated on getting him stronger through the summer (he got down to 115 lbs during chemo) and I enrolled in Adult school that September. I had to take the exit exam and graduated the following May. (I have to tell you though, I was asked to speak for our graduating class and also got a scholarship that helped pay for Gurnick). The next month in June (of this last year), a scan that Charlie had said that he may have had bone cancer. Roller coaster of scans to follow. In September I enrolled at Gurnick Academy of Medical Arts in the Phlebotomy program (Charlie lost his mom two weeks into this program) and got my certificate in November. The end of this last December we finally learned via a Pet scan Charlie underwent, that there was no evidence of bone cancer and also no other cancer was apparent. He has three more years to have tests ran. Our doctor told us these tests aren't bullet proof and we are not out of the woods yet. Although this is very good news!

Now, in all of that time, all three of our boys got married and we have seven grand children between our two oldest. Our son Rob finished his four years and processed out of the military this last September and is back home with us. Diandra graduated from CSUS last June (who knew me High School and her college LOL!) with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and was accepted to the Master of Arts Graduate program in Psychology. She is currently getting ready to apply to colleges all over the country in the Fall to get started on her doctorate the following year. Our Nessa also graduated from CSUS last June.

It has been a journey but I/we got through it. I wish that I could say that I have traveled the world and the seven seas, but then I would not have been stretched the way that I have and grown in ways that I could not have imagined otherwise.

How does that saying go? "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."