Monday, February 26, 2007
Boar ~ 1947, 1959,1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019
Nobel and chivairous. Your friends will
be lifelong, yet you are prone to marital
strife. Avoid other Boars. Marry a Rabbit
or a Sheep. (My husband)
Snake ~1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013
Wise and intense with a tendency towards
physical beauty. Vain and high tempered.
The Boar is your enemy. The Cock or Ox
are your best signs. (Me)
When my Husband and I went away on our anniversary, we had dinner at our favorite Chinese Restaurant, "The Great Wall." We read our Zodiac paper place mats and have to laugh because he IS my enemy!
When we got done eating we enjoyed our fortune cookies with our hot tea. At my mom's request, whenever we get done reading the fortunes that we always add "in bed," at the end.
My husband's read: Work does not define a person; how one performs one's work does.
Mine read as: Be generous with your talent; your friends will become richer from it.
Then We REALLY laughed!
One time when my son was younger, our entire family went out for a Chinese meal to celebrate my Mom's birthday. We went around the table taking turns reading our fortunes and ending them with "in bed." Some of them were absolutely hilarious. Well, my son really thought that they ended that way. He was mortified and started begging us to leave at once! Which made us laugh even harder. He said to me "Mom, this place is not good. Can't you just feel it? Look at the way you guys are carrying on!!" When it was his turn, he opened up his cookie, popped the cookie into his mouth, refused to read his fortune, crumpled it up and threw it under the table! We all had to show him our fortunes and let him see that none of them ended with "in bed!" He wanted to know who's idea it was to do it that way. We all looked at my Mom and his eyes were as big as a dollar-piece coin. He then said in shock "Nana!"
Saturday, February 24, 2007
1/3 cup Crisco
1 1/2 cup flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup milk
Cinnamon & Sugar
Grease muffin pans (about) 12. Mix eggs, sugar, and Crisco. Mix dry ingredients. Add alternately with milk. Add the egg mixture. Bake for 25 min at 350 degrees. Melt butter and mix sugar and cinnamon together. Take out muffins and roll first in butter then the sugar mixture. Serve warm...or cold.
Friday, February 23, 2007
This is a picture of my dad in 1973. I was eight years old.
On my Birthday every year my Daddy was alive, He would always call me precisely at 12:00 a.m.. He wanted to be the first one to say, "Happy Birthday Baby!"
The last year he was with me..... we knew it was a time for us to say whatever that was on our mind and to ask questions. I asked him what stood out in his mind most about me. He said, without even having to think about it, while trying not to cry, "I knew that I wanted you so bad it hurt, before you were even conceived. When your momma told me she was pregnant with you, it was one of the happiest days of my life!"
After he past away, his friends shared with me that on my Birthday, he would still celebrate it with his friends if he wasn't with me. I know he is celebrating me today where he is now.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I did not want you to know... I am okay. I do not want you to feel bad. I just took the sea for granted. This is what happened....
It had rained off and on for three days. It started out really nice Monday morning. I knew that we were leaving first thing Tuesday morning, so as I was getting ready that Monday morning, I thought "I need to get the pictures this morning, it is perfect." As Charlie and I started out, I asked him first thing if we could stop at the beach where I took my Sweet Surrender pictures, to get the heart pictures I had previously told him about. He said "Sure!" He pulled in the parking lot and asked me if he could stay in the truck with the girls.. (our dogs) I said "Sure."
I started walking down the hill to the beach... and it dipped again... (didn't really think about it) Started to draw my heart in the sand. Well..... one side is perfect, and the other side not so perfect... I thought "I could do it better." So, I moved down and had my back to the ocean. All of a sudden I heard a Crash... shhhhhhhhhh. Next thing I know my feet are knocked out from under me, and I am on my back. I immediately think about my camera!!!! I am holding my arm straight up so the water does not get it. Well, the water is raising because, it is still coming in. (this all happened very fast) the water is now over my head and I'm raising up my arm. I am thinking... "This is it." It subsided. It didn't get my camera. I was alive. But I looked like a drowned cat. I stood up. I looked around to see who saw what had just happened. Nobody but three fisherman were on the beach. Obviously, not paying any attention to me drawing a heart in the sand. They were to busy watching there poles. I just stood there in shock. Then trying to regain my composure. I stood there watching the waves... wondering how in the world that happened. Well, as I was watching the waves. They were coming straight into the beach, but also to the right of me. Then, I realized where I was standing was basically on the ocean floor. The tide was out. That is why it had dipped way down. I then started thinking how powerful that wave was that hit me... I had to have more respect for this mighty ocean. I thought since I was there.. I had better draw the heart and get the pictures. I was cold and shivering. But I did get quite a few pictures.
I started walking back up the hill... got to the truck.. and Charlie was looking at me like he could not believe what he was seeing. He looked concerned and rolled down the window and said "Ange?" like he was not even sure it was me. I told him everything. He said I was very lucky.. I asked him to take me back to the trailer so I could take another shower. I had to wear some dirty pants.. and a camp shirt. I luckily had a long sweater and some more tennis shoes. Later that night It got cold and I had to put on another windbreaker over my sweater.
Charlie and I went to a restaurant on Cannery Road, then walked down to the end and got a Starbucks. On the way, I stopped to look at some pull over sweaters I have had my eye on. The clothes rack they were on were part in the store and part on the sidewalk. The man that worked there came running out so fast and then just stood next to me. I didn't think anything about it. Charlie was standing to the side of the store... I went over to him and hugged him.
He then says "Ange, did you see the way that man ran out."
I said "Yes?" He said, "He thought you were a homeless lady ready to take and run!"
We both started laughing because we really hadn't stopped to think about how I looked. We were just busy having fun and enjoying each other. Then it made me sad to think of how the homeless get treated.
Wanda mom, I am really okay. It was a learning lesson for me...... I am not a mermaid!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Friday, February 9, 2007
I'm in the mood for love
I'm in the mood for love
Simply because you're near me
Funny, but when you're near me
I'm in the mood for love
Heaven is in your eyes
Bright as the stars we're under
Oh, is it any wonder
I'm in the mood for love?
Why stop to think of whether
This little dream might fade?
We'll put our hearts together
Now we are one, I'm not afraid
If there's a cloud above
If it should rain we'll let it
Oh but tonight, forget it
I'm in the mood for love
Monday, February 5, 2007
Sunday, February 4, 2007
While I was in a quaint little shop in a little ole mining town called Murphy's, I saw the words "Love like you'll Never get Hurt," engraved on this granite tile and I stopped in my tracks. I stood still. It made me think... love like you'll NEVER get hurt. Could you only imagine? The walls we build around our heart to protect us from getting hurt. No Walls? And then to feel so open to love fully. Just stop and think about that. I don't even know what that would feel like.
When I was pregnant with my son, I was rejected. HURT. I added a layer of bricks (protection) to a wall already up from previous hurts. When I married my husband, we became a blended family. Growing up in one, I knew what that was like. Again, HURT, and another layer to my wall.
Married, I had ideas of how I wanted our blended family to be; I wanted it different than that of the home I grew up in. I thought I had enough love to make it all better. However, I was young, and the boys let me know that I was not their mom. They needed their mom, they had their hurts, their own walls, at this young and tender age. So, sometimes no matter how I hard I tried, I did feel the rejection. Then... there are broken friendships. HURT. Another layer to the wall.... when does it end? I thought about all of the hurting people walking this earth. We all have hurts. I know now, that from this rejection, and this hurt, you learn valuable lessons and gain a bigger understanding. All in its good time.
When My husband had cancer... he had his tumor removed, and then opted not to have the next surgery. It was his choice. I had to respect that. In making this choice, he had to have aggressive check ups for 5 years. We have passed the 5 year mark, but still have to have check ups, just not aggressive. Living with never knowing when and if it was coming back and then there was his choice of living. I am talking about smoking, drinking and what he would eat. I felt as if I was living with a walking time bomb that was going to go off at any minute. We would argue about this. I could not get through to him what a gift this was and he had to make some changes.... he did not. He would try, but then go right back to his old habits. Something started happening to me. My love felt paralyzed in my fear that I was going to lose him, something so precious to me. I was talking to my friend Darlene, and I told her I could feel myself only get so close to him. And she asked me why? She pressed it out of me, not letting this one go. It all just started flowing out. The dam broke. There was no stopping it. I cried, she cried. We talked about this paralyzing fear and how I could not go on like this. I had to make a choice. To love him and all his bad habits or stay paralyzed in this marriage and not move forward, missing out on what this marriage could be. I know that ultimately, it is my husband's choice in the decisions he makes for himself in how he treats his body. It is my choice to not stay paralyzed in this fear and to love this man fully with all my heart, come what may. I talked to my husband about this of course. We cried together. He was grateful I shared this with him and said he would try harder, and he has. And I love him all the more for it.
I guess what my point is: do not be paralyzed in fear of getting hurt. God did not intend for us to live like this. We are going to get hurt. It is going to happen. It is a fact. But let's make the choice to love like we will never get hurt. Yes, it will leave us vulnerable. But what is the worst that can happen? We are already hurting our self by denying the possibility to love fully by staying behind the walls protecting our heart. To forgive would help us to move forward, out of this paralyzed state, to be free....TEAR down those WALLS!!
Let's just see what happens.
My beautiful One ~
My love calls to me,
"Arise, my darling,
come away my beautiful
one. For now the winter is
The rain has ended and
gone away, the blossoms
appear on the countryside.
The time of singing has
Arise, my darling, come
away my beautiful one."
Song of Songs 2:10-13
Friday, February 2, 2007
Time after Time ~
What good are words I say to you?
they can't convey to you what's in my heart
If you could hear instead
The things I left unsaid
Time after time, I tell myself that I'm
So lucky to be loving you
So lucky to be the one you run to see
In the evening, when the day is through
I only know what I know, the passing
years will show
You've kept my love so young, so new
And time after time, you'll hear me say that I'm
So lucky to be loving you
These little sweeties are a God send! They entered our lives at a time when all seemed bleak and gloomy. My Dad had just passed away and I fell into a deep depression. He lost his life to cancer at the young age of 59. My sister and I took care of him for over a year. Not only did caring for his illness affect the two of us, but also my husband and two kids still at home. I was away for most of that year. Something such as this, an illness, a death, a life crisis..changes you. It had changed me in so many ways... and I didn't feel the same way as I once did. I had to find my way back. Mackenzie, Sophia, and Semone helped to bring back awareness to the simple joys of life I had begun to overlook.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Every one of us has little opportunities each day to intentionally weave love into somebody else's life. Maybe it's through a note in a school lunch box for your son or daughter. Maybe it's a short message scribbles in the dust on top of the dresser before you leave for work. It might be bouquet of flowers to thank someone for a kindness. What about a smile to your neighbor, a song over the phone, a prayer in someones behalf?
The point is, don't sit around waiting for the big knock-your-socks-off opportunity to say "I Love You." It's the "little things" that really make a difference in the lives of those you love. Mother Teresa once said, "We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But if that drop was not in the ocean, I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. I do not agree with the big way of doing things."
I want to make that simple heart attitude and intentional giving of myself a part of the fabric of my daily living. How about you?
I don't want to live - I want to love first, and live incidentally."
taken from the book, boundless Love